romankyaryday:

i went to a new school when i started second grade and i still remember what my parents said to me as they dropped me off on my first day at the new school: “dont do your yoshi impression, it’s weird and you’ll make no friends.”

(via rhubabe)

brokendildo:

basedpidgeot:

brokendildo:

ive never been to a funeral or a wedding and ive never had a sleepover

and ive never gone down a water slide or been on a roller coaster

sounds like the first verse of a macklemore track

when i got on my first roller coaster i knew i was a lesbian

(via foodchewer)

alpacalypse:

what can i be for halloween which is sexy AND hilarious at the same time…

image

image

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myself

(via scottthepilgrim)

thepastryalchemist:

ed-ships-larry:

lousontiptoes:

raise your hand if you’ve ever been disgusted by your own fandom…

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if you don’t raise your hand, chances are you’re the one your fandom is disgusted with

(via mcdolans)

hellabloggin:

seliphra:

hellabloggin:

um

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speak for yourself, tumblr

No but you don’t understand, we WILL pi harder because it will be 3/14/15 and 15 are the next digits in pi after the 3.14 so it will be 3.1415 so we will all PI HARDER

i almost made a shitty comment but thats actually rly cool holy shit

(via asvprock)

thefamilyjuless:

Last night my friends drunkenly punched out the windows and broke off one of the stall doors in the men’s bathroom. 10 minutes later they felt really bad and decided to fix the place up.
Side note: those flowers are from the bushes outside the dorm.

(via thefamilyjuless)

the-preposterous-can-of-soup:

ilikeyouandvodka:

shouldnt:

ilikeyouandvodka:

shouldnt:

If Shaquille O’neal was a banana he would be Shaquille O’peal

If Shaquille O’neal was a shade of blue he would be Shaquille O’teal

If Shaquille O’neal was a criminal he would be Shaquille O’steal

If Shaquille O’neal was emotional he would be Shaquille O’feel

If Shaquille O’Neal sold cheap cars he would be Shaquille O’Deal

basketball

(via the-foxiest-box)

occultalux:

i-wanna-get-in-englands-pants:

omg i just realized why mario and luigi are red and green

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how i didn’t see that i’m so stupid

oh

(Source: chepibola, via thefamilyjuless)

queelez:

lord-of-the-nerds:

discordion:

When he was 2 years old, he fell out of a second story window and fractured his skull
When he was 6 years old, he mistakenly drank boric acid.
When he was 9 years old, he fell over a small cliff and broke his leg.
When he was 11 years old, he contracted measles and was in a coma for nine days.
When he was 14 years old, he broke his arm when he caught it in a carriage door.
When he was 19 years old, he was struck on the head by a falling brick.
When he was 23 years old, he almost died from the effects of tainted wine.
When he was 29 years old, Adolph Sax invented the saxophone.

clearly someone didn’t want that saxophone invented 


#incompetent time-travelling saxophone haters

queelez:

lord-of-the-nerds:

discordion:

When he was 2 years old, he fell out of a second story window and fractured his skull

When he was 6 years old, he mistakenly drank boric acid.

When he was 9 years old, he fell over a small cliff and broke his leg.

When he was 11 years old, he contracted measles and was in a coma for nine days.

When he was 14 years old, he broke his arm when he caught it in a carriage door.

When he was 19 years old, he was struck on the head by a falling brick.

When he was 23 years old, he almost died from the effects of tainted wine.

When he was 29 years old, Adolph Sax invented the saxophone.

clearly someone didn’t want that saxophone invented 

#incompetent time-travelling saxophone haters

(via bitterassfandom)